What Beliefs Are You Still Carrying That Aren’t Yours?

Some of the hardest patterns to unwind aren’t the physical ones. They’re the mental and emotional beliefs we’ve been carrying—sometimes for decades—that were never ours to begin with.

I call these O.P.P. – Other People’s Points of view.

Maybe you grew up hearing that “rest is lazy” or “you should always put others first.” Maybe you were taught that emotions are a sign of weakness, that your worth is tied to productivity, or that you should always smile and be agreeable, even when your soul is screaming inside.

These kinds of beliefs don’t come from your inner wisdom. They come from culture. From family. From well-meaning teachers, mentors, religion, politics, social media. Over time, they become automatic. You think they’re just “how things are.”

But what if they’re not?

What if those beliefs are the very things keeping you stuck, stressed, or sick?

How this might show up:

• You want to rest—but a voice in your head says you’re being lazy.

• You want to change your career—but a belief whispers it’s selfish to prioritize joy.

• You want to say no—but it feels like rejection or failure.

That’s not your truth talking. That’s O.P.P.

And it’s exhausting.

So how do we let go of what isn’t ours?

Start with Curiosity, Not Judgment

Whenever you feel resistance or guilt, pause and ask: “Where did this belief come from?”
Don’t shame yourself for holding it—just get curious. You might find it came from a parent, a church, a grade school teacher, or even something you overheard as a child. That awareness alone starts to loosen its grip.

Feel It in Your Body

Your body will always tell the truth. If a belief feels tight, heavy, anxious, or draining—it’s probably not aligned with your inner knowing.

Ask yourself:
“Is this mine?”
If it’s not, try saying out loud:

“Return to sender with consciousness attached.”

It’s a simple phrase, but energetically it can be profound. You don’t have to carry what was never yours.

Use Ho’oponopono

This Hawaiian prayer is a favorite of mine for clearing old mental clutter and calling your energy back:

“I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I forgive myself. Thank you.”

I say it when I notice myself slipping into a belief I know isn’t mine. It reminds me of who I really am and helps me move forward with compassion.

A Real Example

For years, I had a hard time resting. Even when I was sick or depleted, I felt this sense of guilt—like I should be doing something productive. When I asked myself where that came from, I realized I’d absorbed the belief that rest was only allowed after you’d earned it. That worth was tied to output.

That belief wasn’t mine. It was inherited. So I gave it back.

Now, I choose to rest without guilt. Not because I earned it, but because I need it. Because my body is worthy of care. That shift has changed so much.

A Practice for You

Take a moment and jot down a belief that feels limiting or heavy. Then ask yourself:

• Where did this come from?

• Is it really mine?

• What would I believe instead, if I trusted myself fully?

You don’t need to unravel everything all at once. Just begin with one.

You already have the answers. They’re just buried under the noise. Let’s clear it out.

You don’t need to become someone else. You just need to return to yourself.

—Jen

Ready to Go Deeper?

If this message speaks to you and you’re ready for real transformation, I’d love to support you.
Explore my site or reach out directly to learn how we can work together through coaching, mentorship, or The Flourish Way™ experience.

You don’t have to do this alone. Let’s find your way back—together.